You know how every year April fools comes around and you like to prank your co-workers, friends, or anyone who isn’t my wife?  Do you also know that sometimes those things can go terribly wrong, like the time the radio station announced they would be dropping cash from a helicopter, then announced it was an April fools joke and the crowd got angry and beat up the radio reps.  Well no blood was shed today but things did not go as planned.

You should know that I’m in the D.C. area at a military school doing training for the Air Force.  I have been very fortunate to get a fun teacher and class that enables all of us to have fun, but we are also good students and know when to be serious etc.

So today I was expecting and planning some good old pranks.  However we had a very busy day of writing ahead of us so we had to balance.  A few of us decided to order some pizza and work through lunch to get things done.  Why our teacher was at lunch one her collegues came in and explained that we should at least hide the pizza so she doesn’t get in trouble.  So we did and then had him come back in to ask if he would help us play a prank.  We thought a fake story about getting in trouble with the pizza would be good and he agreed to help.

Our teacher came back in along with her boss and someone and another teacher asking about the pizza, but asking us.  All of the sudden we were in trouble.  I smelled a rat and thought our teacher found out and we planned and joking us.  So we all played along until the boss left.  I asked our teacher what that was all about kind of mad still playing along.  She reciprocated by getting angrily asking why we would get her in trouble.  Somewhere along the line both parties were joking but also we all really did get in trouble, but it was hard to tell when the joke ended.  We were all mad but didn’t really know who to be mad at.

Later she called me into the hall to find out what was going on and we were able to explain what happened and the funniest day of the year turned out to be pretty crappy.  The only good news I got today is how awesome my wife is.

Well I feel it is time to put up a post, but I’m not sure what to talk about so we’ll just wing it.  I guess I should first mention that for the past three days I’ve been “confined to quarters,” that’s military for being sick and in your room.  It has been a ball my first day I watch Modern Marvels all day.  I knew it was too much when I watched the same episode “Barbeque Tech” which was pretty awesome.  I’ve had Extra Noodle Soup I think 4 days in a row, along with about 100 cough drops and I am once again officially an alcoholic with all of the shots of Nyquil and cough syrup I’ve been taking.  I don’t feel all that bad but the cough is still bad.  I did go to the doctor on Friday who confined me to quarters.  It was about a 2 hour process since I missed the “sick call” only because nobody ever told us when it was.  I had my vitals taken which was normal until the throat culture.  The nurse was surprised that I found it hard to keep my tongue out and it was uncomfortable when gagging me with a Q-tip.  Then the doctor came in a while later and gave me his diagnosis.

Having a wife as a med student, which made me go to the doctor, is always fun.  She was concerned but also I think a bit excited to compare diagnosis with the doctor’s.  I felt I had good information when I told her I had an upper respiratory viral infection.  It sounded pretty bad to me and I got a prescription to back it up.  Well when I told Christina she started laughing and said, “that’s just a cold.”  So I felt all the time I spent at the doctor was waisted.  However she got a good laugh.  Special thanks to the gal that gave me a ride back to my room as I was walking after missing the bus.

Well back to the Food Network and Modern Marvels.

Well this weekend was an buffet of public transportation.  I was off to celebrate Christina taking her step one of her board certification.  Some say it is the most important test a physician will ever take.  So it was necessary to get to NY as fast as possible.  So I took the Amtrak train, recently described on Big Bang Theory as twice as expensive and three times as long.  Actually when calculating cab rides, security, the train is is perfect for me.  It was very nice too.  Comfortable seats and smoothe as silk.

We had a great weekend together with Christina being stress free except for the fact that I was quite sick with a bad cold.  We saw our first broadway show, Chicago.  It was good for a musical and neat to see, although I’m sure the one actress lipped-synched her first number.  We also saw a pretty good movie called Sunshine Cleaners and ate dinner at Gino a New York Institution.

After a wonderful weekend with my beautiful wife it was time to head home.  Since the train was a bit spendy I decided to try a Chinatown bus.  I have heard good things and they have internet access so how could you not trust them.  I was told to catch the bus on 7th Ave between 33rd and 34th across from FootAction.  That’s right meet at the shoe store.  I arrived on time to a line of people and confirmed I was indeed in the correct area.  The bus pulled up and appeared to let people off.  “Here we go,” I told myself.  All the time thinking at the very least this should be a funny experience.  Another bus pulled up behind the first.  After a short time the busses left with none of us on them.  It was about 45 min late when another bus pulled up.  I climbed aboard one of the seats ready to go.  We started off and I noticed the organizers and driver were indeed Chinese thus the name for the busses.  I don’t much about the language but there was a little discussion and everyone seemed angry.  Oh well no big thing.  I was ready for some strange conversation, some crazy guy busting out an instrument and giving an imprompt conert, or something you would expect to find on a bus.  No such luck it was actually nice ride, hit a little traffice but very peacful, most everyone slept.  Finally we made it to Baltimore my destination.  We drove into town and by the inner harbor.  Made a few turns and then again we saw the inner harbor.  It was the third time that I suspected something was up.  Thankfully a passenger spoke Chinese and had an iphone.  Once again the iphone saves the day.  It took a good 20 min and another passenger to actually find our destination.  Then I grabbed a light rail to the airport, then a taxi back to base.  It was all quite a trip.  You can see me updates on my new twitter sight if you’re interested.  http://twitter.com/piratejonny

If you’re reading this blog you probably are well aware that I am a huge U2 fan and have been since the second grade.  Since high school I have made it a ritual to purchase the new CD on the day of its release.  It started out that way because when I was a kid that was the only way you would be able to hear it.  Even though I had a leaked copy I set off into the snow and ice wearing my long underwear to make it to Best Buy.  I had to wait for a bus, ride it with scary people and make it thru eating dinner at Chick-fil-a.  It was obviously well worth the journey.

It was the when I returned that things got depressing.  I have been coping with the fact that U2 will be on Good Morning America Friday, and then reminded they’ll be on Lettermen all this week two blocks from my apt.  I then was watching Acess Hollywood, (I was in a waiting area in a lobby not my choice) and there they were, 2 blocks away naming 53rd st a blcok south of my st 54th “U2 Way.”  Needless to say I won’t be at all shocked to find out they sublet the apt next door to me this week since I’m away.

1.5 blocks from my door

So that is my U2 story for now and if you’re in my neighborhood make sure you say hello, because you’ll probably run into them.  Most of all enjoy the new album I like it quite a bit.  It isn’t my favorite but you can always count on U2 to keep there music moving forward.  The things I do for your freedom… your welcome.

I’ve been getting lots of inquiries about the eye and even more theories.  What makes the last post so funny to me is that most people who know me, know the idea of me getting hammered and doing something stupid is pretty ridiculous.  However I get the impression  from a few people that I might really have a drinking problem.  I do enjoy a drink or two every now and again but the important thing is to always drink responsibly.  I think Abraham Lincoln said it best,

“It has long been recognized that the problems of alcohol relate not to the use of a bad thing, but the abuse of a good thing.”

the other guy is expected to make a full recovery in 6-8 weeks

Apparently it’s official, I’m an alcoholic.  I went out to dinner with some friends Friday and we did have a drink in my room before bed.  When I woke up the next morning I had a big black eye and I have no idea how it got there.  As I looked at myself in the mirror I thought it was funny.  I then looked around to see if I bumped it on the nightstand, bed or something.  Then the only conclusion that I could think of was spider bite.  So what was funny, now became a life-threatening incident.  So off to the base clinic to get checked out and guess what was closed?  I then called the number to have an on-call doctor reach me.  He told me where to go.  He didn’t seemed to concerned, so I asked if I could wait until Monday.  “You’re looking at either mild irritation to total blindness,” he calmly stated.  So I guess I’ll get it checked it out.
I arrived at a clinic in shopping development where I kept getting funny looks.  After the blood pressure and temp, it was suggested I took an eye exam.  You should know in Grenada I was something of an eye doctor.  I volunteered at a lot of health fairs and my job was giving eye exams.  That being the case I have most of the chart memorized.  So I’m standing there with my black eye covered.  “Can you read this line,” the nurse asked.  I imagined I look like someone who is either illiterate or doesn’t speak English.  I knew the letters, but I was trying to work it out in my head whether or not I could see them or just knew them.  “Can you read this line,” he asked again.  Turns out my “good” eye was worse than my black eye, which is why I already had an eye appointment scheduled.
So then came the doctor.  And it when something like this:

working at the healthfair

Dr:    What happened?
Me:    I was hoping you could tell me.
Dr:    Did things get rowdy at the bar last night?
Me:    No not at all
Dr:    Are you sure you didn’t have too much to drink.
Me:    No, I just woke up like this
Dr:    Did you wife beat you up (was that implying I couldn’t take Christina… I can’t)
Me:    No she is far away.
Me:    I think I got bit by something
Dr:    No it would be red not black.

It went on and he did some tests.  We concluded that I somehow slugged myself while sleeping or someone broke in, hit me and left without taking anything.  All in all it is pretty strange and next I have a follow up apt with doctor on base.  Which I may have to walk two miles for because the bus has a lunch break during lunch time which is the only time we would need to go somewhere.

After yesterday’s orientation classes started today.  Our class was split into four sections and I was separated from the people I got to know.  My section is taught by my instructer who will be referred to as PK.  One reason is to keep her annonymus int the event that somone is reading this and that I would be saying something that should be said.  More appropriately she told us SEVERAL stories of how her pets died under her supervision.  PK = Pet Killer.

We all had to go around the room and talk about ourselves.  Just two night ago I watched the movie Stripes.  So when it got to me I said, “My name is Senior Airman Jonathan Youg, but everyone calls me Psycho.”  Words of advice, know your audience.  Most of the people were not even born to understand it was a movie quote.  So I had to explain it which made for a bad joke.  However I always wanted to do it, and I felt this would be my last chance.  I was also outdone by the femal body builder/boxer who is of course a Marine and scares me to death.

Well being 28 it has been a while since I’ve been in school.  So I realized a made a huge mistake when I got homework.  I’ve never been one for homework and to make things worse my pencil kept breaking.  Christina is the worker of the family but I try to make her proud by getting my assignments done, plus I need the money.  the good news is if we do well we get stickers, and possibly a pizza party.  Let the good times roll.

Young out

Some of you don’t know but upon my return to Amercia I enlisted back in the military but this time in the Air Force, NY Air National Guard to be exact.  Well I arrived yesterday at Ft Meade, MD for three months of training.  I’m hoping this will make some good entries to my blog.  Let’s start from the beginning.

I arrived at Regan National Airport where I had to take a cab about 30 miles to Ft Meade.  I had a great cab driver that was very patient and missed lunch with his friends to get me there.  After we finally found the main gate we got in and I checked into my room.  It is actually fairly nice.  Much like a low budget hotel, but I have internet and cable and my own room.  I needed to check in with the Air Force office to let them know I arrived.  Well actually I first had to get a haircut.  I tried calling the AF office but nobody would answer.  I finally put on my uniform and headed back to the bus stop to look for some building.  I could not get the bus schedule right so I went back to the room.  I finally called the school I was attending and got in touch with the AF and they said just show up for school in the morning.

If you didn’t know I was in the Army before so this is a switch.  I have no idea how to wear my uniform and to make matters worse my instructions informed me that we had to wear our dress uniform 4 days a week.  I got everything ready and checked the bus schedule three times.  I woke up put on my uniform and had about a 15 min walk to the bus stop.  Got there and was told the bus does not stop there, but at Brett Haul… which is next door to my building.  I then had to run in the snow back to try and make the bus so not to be late for my school.  I made it and arrived at the school on time.  I waited for a while why others arrived.  One by one they came all in their camoflauge uniforms.  We finally entered class and out of 55 people, one person had his dress uniform on… and you’re reading his blog.

I’m taking a journalism class and after a short welcome we were told we would be taking a English test.  The kicker was if we failed we had to take an extra 3 weeks of remedial training.  If you read my blog you know grammar isn’t my best and I don’t proof read my blog, but that is because my bad writing makes my wife laugh.  Anyway it has been a long time since I had formal schooling on English.  We finished the test.  Then we had more orientation and we would get our results after lunch.  Well the computer system was down and we had to wait two extra hours.  The stress was driving us crazy to see if we would pass.  Well I am happy to report me know enuff english to pass test.

-Senior Airman Young out

Living in NYC it becomes evident that your are surrounded by famous people everywhere.  They are just regular people like you and me going about there business.  Before I get to the sighting let offer some tips of what to do when encountering celebrities.  Most people think they would not want to be bothered, but they love to stopped especially if they are eating.  The first thing that you should say would be quotting on of their most famous while doing an impression of them.  As an example I will use mega star Gary Coleman as an example.  You would say, “What you talken about Willis.”  Although you want to be whitty and change it to be in the moment.  Christina would say, “hi” and I would say, “What you talken about Christina.”  Once they stop laughing (may take minutes) then ask them about their work and projects.  If you follow these steps then it is almost a given you’ll not only make a good impression, but a close friend forever.

Now to the sighting.  We were in the grociery store and I was waiting to get my meat cut.  Standing at the deli Christina came up and said, “You’ll never imagine who is over by the cheese.”  I did the old lean way back to see around the corner and there she was.  It was none other than Georgia Engel.  That’s right one of the stars from the hit show Everybody Loves Raymond.  You know she plays the mother-in-law.  Amy’s mom, who gets married to Robert.  It was amazing.  I was so excited that I forgot all of my rules and didn’t say anything.  I love NYC.

Well being in NY you can get anything you desire, however it tends to be expensive.  After doing exaustive research on the interweb, I set out to a store.  Not just any store, but the wonderful beautiful Target.  First I had to determine if the bag I required was in stock.  I called 3 stores, and was on hold for quite sometime.  I finally confirmed the bag was in stock however it was in another state.  No biggy because it was only 3 miles away.  Or so I thought.

First I jumped on the NY metro train a few stops to where I would transfer.  My only guess is that NY and NJ “PATH” trains don’t get along.  I got off the train where I thought I would be in PENN Station.  I was not and had to walk outside about 3 blocks.  I then found PENN Station and tried to find the PATH trains.  I followed a sign or two for the “PATH” trains.  However the signs stopped showing up, but there was no train.   I finally asked someone.  “6th and 32nd” they said.  I thought to myself, “Oh where I just came from.”  Finally I found the train but it was a bit unclear as to which to take.  So like I have become acustom to, I jumped on a train.  Forunately I was on the correct one.

After an hour of pure bliss and $200 later, I left Target with my new garment bag, filled with other goodies.  I went back to the train station.  It was even more confusing to find the correct train back.  So much so that I got on the wrong train.  It took me two stops to realize I went the wrong way.  I exited and back to the other train platform trying to look like I do this everyday.  Finally I made it back to Penn Station fournd my train home and 3.5 hours after leaving I was back home.  That was Monday.